Seven years ago . . .(whoa…that’s difficult to write. . .) I published my first book, Flip-Flops After 50: And Other Thoughts on Aging I Remembered to Write Down. I learned many, many things from that experience, not the least of which was that for my next book, I’d need to think of a much shorter title. (Another book in which I have an essay is called, Laugh Out Loud: 40 Women Humorists Celebrate Then and Now Before We Forget. See? Much shorter next time.)
Another thing I learned was that chasing a dream is well worth the effort. One of the things I always mention when asked to do a talk about my book, or writing or writing a book is the confidence I gained in finally achieving something I really, really wanted to do. Making a dream come true is like a healing tonic, a surprise gift, discovering a new—and positive—characteristic. It was like a part of me was newly revealed. I wasn’t sure what to do with it at first, but over the course of the next several years, I honed it into a tangible element; it was me, as a writer.
I think that’s when I began feeling more comfortable calling myself a writer. See that…I just called myself a writer without the self-deprecating quotation marks. At the time, I was very busy tying to “break in” to this second-career-writer thing and had all sorts of opportunities to peddle my book through interviews, readings and events. It was at such an event—I think it was a craft fair where several authors had set up tables to sell books—that I met a guy helping another, more famous author with his set-up. He offered to talk to me about my book as a favor, so I called him soon after. I don’t remember his actual title—promoter or publicist or something—but he had all sorts of suggestions on how to “brand” myself, primarily as an influencer of the flip-flop philosophy. Get out there, with all my flip-floppy wisdom and vibe and promote myself. I never really thought about my book launching a philosophy, but I was game, so I bought a domain and started collecting promotional swag and began plotting how to rule the world as the Flip-Flop Queen. (Damn, I just realized I should have looked for a flip-flop tiara!)
Of course, I didn’t become an influencer—or a queen—as other things showed up in my life that I needed to pay attention to for a few years. I hung on to that flip-flop vibe, though. During that conversation, I was intrigued at what such a philosophy might mean and I thought about it a lot. I wasn’t coming up with anything completely original—flip-flops tend to symbolize beach living, which in turn suggests a mellow way of living, doesn’t it? But applied to a then 50-something and now 60-something, it began to mean much more to me.
For example, it reminds me to stay simple in my actions and decisions. Wearing flip-flops is as close to barefoot as you can get and being barefoot is a way to be grounded in a very real way. Feet on the earth, or in the sand, or in the grass can be an essential feeling and literally connect you to the greater world. It reminds me to try to understand a situation or experience in its most simple form, to break it down into what the basic need or requirement is. And what I usually find is that what is required is love. Or patience. Or time. In flip-flops I can be thisclose to that feeling all the time. Or as much as I am able to be.
But I think the confidence had something to do with the evolution of the flip-flop vibe, too. If I hadn’t had the confidence to begin with, I might not have been able to convert my way of understanding situations to be more mindful, more simple. More me. So, it’s still a flip-flop thing, isn’t it?
There may be time for me to get that tiara after all.
🩴 👍🏻💕