Life's Little Instruction Book

It’s outside because it’s still a little . . . whiffy.

Remember that one? It barreled into our lives in 1991 with succinct affirmations on how to live your life to the fullest or, at least, by the book. Initially a list of wisdom and counsel for the author’s college-bound son, it became a bestseller that begat dozens of sequels, calendars and copycats. (Life’s Little Destruction Book was published a year later.) The original had 511 “instructions” to help provide a “road map” for life. We finally had the instruction manual we always yearned for. We got advice like “316 * Learn to disagree without being disagreeable.” I think the word pithy was invented when this book was published.

During our current downsizing attempt, we emptied a box of books to sort and discard and lo and behold, out tumbled my own copy. It almost kept going to the pile headed to the recycling/redemption center; it had that moldy odor of a book long forgotten in the garage in a box with other neglected novels, how-tos and inspirational books. (There was a copy of An Actor Prepares. Insert “shrug” here.) I flipped through it and noticed that I had labeled it with my former married name, so I’m not sure when I bought—or was given—the book. I suspect it was my parents, because 1991 was the year I separated from my husband and began the very long path to divorce. It would have been their way to make sure I knew what I was doing. (I didn’t.)

I’m in the light blue sundress and with my parents, my friend Tracy and Christopher. (I think Annie took the picture.) It’s appropriate that it’s out-of-focus—just like I was in those days.

The other thing I noticed was that I apparently found some of the instructions helpful, because there were many that I highlighted. All these years later, who knows why certain ones drew my attention. For some, it looks like I used them as a checklist—things I’d already done or did, like:
32 * Once in your life own a convertible.

90 * Refill ice cube trays. (There are two kinds of people in this world: Ice cube tray emptiers and ice cube tray fillers. That’s my bit of wisdom.)

109 * Know how to drive a stick-shift. (That one was easy—it was the same car as the convertible.)

137 * Keep your watch 5 minutes fast. (Thanks, Dad.)

239 * Watch the movie It’s a Wonderful Life every Christmas. (Of course, now I’ve added Die Hard.)

270 * Arrive at work early and stay beyond quitting time. (Actually, I could have let this one go.)

393 * Learn how to operate a Macintosh computer. (I wish it had read: buy Apple stock.)

417 * Read to your children.

510 * Count your blessings.

Some were aspirational—things I probably felt I should achieve at some point in my life. I can happily say I have:
19 * Buy great books even if you never read them.

24 * Drink Champagne for no reason at all. (Or Prosecco.)

28 * Teach some kind of class.

142 * Pay your bills on time.

212 * Don’t allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It’s there for your convenience, not the caller’s (I literally just said this to Luca the other day.)

313 * Never underestimate the power of love.

Then, there was one to which I added a question mark:
43 * Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen every day.

Certainly, that one was beyond my understanding, given the fact that it felt like my entire town turned against me during my separation and divorce. I felt like everyone had given up on me and I definitely wasn’t looking for any miracles in the near future. They feel just as unimaginable now.  

And one I didn’t highlight or mark or perhaps even conceive of was:
20 * Be forgiving of yourself and others.

I can say at the time I couldn’t grasp that—not when I was yanking my kids out of their home, away from their dad and into an unknown that I hardly had any idea how to navigate. I wasn’t sure I could even ask for forgiveness.  

But, maybe I can check that one off now.

Life’s Little Instruction Book – 3 volumes