Your parents (and, everybody’s parents) may have been right on some level regarding silence, but I think simply letting the other person know that you are there for them is an important codicil to that strategy.
I "met" you at a discussion group that included some authors writing in your book. You did not talk about your daughter's death and I understand that. My daughter and best friend, Tracy, died in 5 months from diagnosis to death in 2023. She was an RN who worked in the Bronx and lived in Branford, CT. She took exquisite care of herself, and it DID NOT MATTER, Cancer devoured her. I love how you write about your pain, very real and down to earth. Please keep writing...it helps.
How generous of you to share this, Wendy. I am heartbroken for your loss. Were you at the library discussion? Those writers were really brave, weren't they? Sending love. ♥️
Thanks, Cindy. I don’t think you can go wrong with saying, “I love you,” or “I care about you.” Then follow up with action: invite them out for dinner, a walk, a movie, or to your home for a meal. If you both play the same sport, suggest a date you can play. Definitely don’t say, “Call me if you need anything.” It’s too much to expect a grieving person to tell you what they need when they don’t even know themselves. And if they say no the first time, keep asking so they’ll know they’re not forgotten.
Such a difficult topic for a difficult time. I think we don't understand the impact of what we say to those experiencing grief until we are the ones grieving.
Your parents (and, everybody’s parents) may have been right on some level regarding silence, but I think simply letting the other person know that you are there for them is an important codicil to that strategy.
I "met" you at a discussion group that included some authors writing in your book. You did not talk about your daughter's death and I understand that. My daughter and best friend, Tracy, died in 5 months from diagnosis to death in 2023. She was an RN who worked in the Bronx and lived in Branford, CT. She took exquisite care of herself, and it DID NOT MATTER, Cancer devoured her. I love how you write about your pain, very real and down to earth. Please keep writing...it helps.
How generous of you to share this, Wendy. I am heartbroken for your loss. Were you at the library discussion? Those writers were really brave, weren't they? Sending love. ♥️
As a writer, I seek the word. But, in my experience, I crave and yearn for company and reassuring touch way more.
My husband just traveled 7 hours round trip to sit for two hours with someone for whom there are no words. They played music and were together.
Love is presence.
That's so beautiful, Kathy. I appreciate your sharing that right now. xo
Thanks, Cindy. I don’t think you can go wrong with saying, “I love you,” or “I care about you.” Then follow up with action: invite them out for dinner, a walk, a movie, or to your home for a meal. If you both play the same sport, suggest a date you can play. Definitely don’t say, “Call me if you need anything.” It’s too much to expect a grieving person to tell you what they need when they don’t even know themselves. And if they say no the first time, keep asking so they’ll know they’re not forgotten.
Thank you, Ginni. I know you know what you're talking about. xo
Such a difficult topic for a difficult time. I think we don't understand the impact of what we say to those experiencing grief until we are the ones grieving.