It’s a funny world we live in, isn’t it? As many times as we’ve said to ourselves or others, “If you had ever told me (crazy number of) years ago that I would be doing (any unimaginable activity) now, I’d have (fill in dramatic response of choice).” I have several of those scenarios running in my brain: If you had told me at age 64 I’d still be hustling for a job, I’d have laughed in your face. Or, if you had told me I’d rely on my telephone for everything from actually speaking to people far away to making an online appointment to test whether or not I had a deadly virus, which besides possibly killing me, would also prevent me from helping out my daughter who has cancer, I’d have signed commitment papers so you could be taken away to a nice treatment facility.
But here we are. It happened innocently enough—Angelo and I met friends for dinner. Friends we knew were conscientious, vaxxed and careful. They also suggested we meet at 5:30 and there was NO one in the restaurant at that time! We very nearly had the place to ourselves as we caught up over sushi and teriyaki salmon. When it was time to go, we hugged, because it was just so damn nice to see each other and hold each other again.
A couple of days later, ironically—or mockingly—after Angelo and I returned home from getting our 2nd vaccine booster shots, our friend texted and said she had tested positive for Covid. She, of course, was mortified and apologized profusely. And, as much as I rejected her apologies, assuring her that there was no way she could have known, I was pissed. Not at her . . . I love her. But I was pissed at . . . I don’t know. Some . . . one. Some . . . thing.
I’ve never stuck my fingers in or around my nose so often as I did during the days we were waiting to find out if we had Covid. Each time, upon realizing my recklessness, I doused them with hand sanitizer or washed quickly in case I was at risk of spreading the virus. I scoured the CDC website for guidance and took all the quizzes about my exposure. Angelo and I decided rather than fool around with one of the rapid tests, we’d make an appointment to get a PCR test to know for sure. There were so many things to worry about: I had to call my school to find out about the Covid policy for teaching, we second-guessed almost everywhere we went, and we postponed a Mother’s Day gathering at a restaurant. (Annie getting a case of Shingles helped make that decision, too.)
Late in the evening, a week to the day after dinner with our friends, we got the notice via email: Negative. I experienced a rush of relief I hadn’t been anticipating. Of course I was hoping—even pretty certain--that given the lack of symptoms we were negative, but when that word showed up in my inbox, I exhaled. It’s probably the one time in my life I felt good being negative. As I worked through the level of relief I felt, I realized who I was pissed at.
Them.
You know who I mean—those people who decided to treat the pandemic as though it was a hoax, a ruse, a political strategy. It’s still unimaginable that people didn’t take Covid seriously and perpetuated an outcome that could have been handled much better. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that there are people who are responsible for making this pandemic the worst it could be. In fact, I heard a reliable medical professional say that the roughly third of the US population who refused to get vaccinated contributed to this pandemic being handled much worse than the last one. He added, pretty matter-of-factly, that we better prepare because there will be another one.
For the last two years, I was protecting my dad first and now my daughter, but I think I would have been as careful if I had been looking out for just me and Angelo. I would have done everything the same way: social distancing, masks, vaccines, boosters. It doesn’t hurt that a pandemic actually appeals to me with all the staying inside at home time, but I was raised with a social conscience that helps me understand that I’m not the only pebble on the beach.
As long as there are human beings, there will be selfish ones. The ones who only think of themselves, the ones who make things harder. But it takes too much energy to be pissed at them anymore. There are ways to combat the virus—all the ways we already know. I know I’ll keep wearing a mask and I’ll get every booster out there. There’s too much at stake and there are too many people I love. There will be work to do, but we’ll get through it. I’m positive.
Yes, I think you intended the phrase to be "social consciousness.." So glad and relieved you tested negative. And yes, a fresh wave of resentment toward those who have no understanding of that phrase.
but I was raised with a social {conscious} did you mean consciousness?
Love this ,and sadly if I was alone without loved ones Id probably be selfish and reckless.