That got your attention, didn’t it? It was either pickleball or the picture with the funny quote, but you paid attention? (Hopefully!) I just made up the title because I knew I wanted to write about social media influencers and it struck me as funny to stick pickleball in the title in order to draw more people in. A “bait & switch” if you will, but in order to get you to read my weekly essay and not to swindle you into buying something that is suddenly not available. (It’s a free subscription!) My title was originally going to be Come What May and that sounds considerably more depressing. So maybe I did actually bait and switch you? From humor to gloom? Sorry.
The thing is, I am on social media. You probably already know this since it’s likely you’re reading this because I post these essays to all my platforms. Besides my essays, I use social media to keep up with family and friends and I use it to promote my books. It’s not my main source of news, although I do catch an interesting article now and then and there are several people I follow—actual influencers. The usuals—Brene Brown, Hilary Clinton, Karen Waldron, Anne Lamott and so on. (But how fun would it be to be a pickleball influencer?) Recently, as I was scrolling through the typical posts and videos, a new influencer’s account popped up and she was saying something funny and supportive, so I clicked “Follow.” Over the next few days, I watched as my feed was populated with her clever, short, but inspirational pep talks and slide shows. Then, one day, as I clicked through one of her morning affirmations—things you should tell yourself every morning--I paused when I got to the one that said something like “if you show up for life, life will reward you.”
That one stopped me cold. I had a weird visceral reaction and suddenly felt uncomfortable. “Well, that’s not true!” I thought to myself. And, although I rarely comment on these kinds of posts because who’s going to even read my comment amid the thousands of followers and commenters? I can actually tell you—no one. I’ve never had any of these so-called influencers respond to my clever and profound observations. (Their loss . . .) But I couldn’t help myself, so I commented, “Life doesn’t hand out rewards. Showing up for your life is the reward.” Or words to that effect.
I think her promise felt irresponsible to me. And, if you’re a constant reader, you know I’m all about being responsible. Now, this woman probably has dozens of posts a day and many of them are still clever and inspirational. I know--I cherry-picked one post out of hundreds and am calling foul on it when it just as likely dropped like a stone in the ocean of other posts and didn’t do any harm. In fact, I’m sure thousands of people perked up, straightened their backs and met the day with much more vigor than before they happened on that one post. It just feels like if you know you are influencing a bunch of people—or even one or two—there has to be some responsibility about it. You can’t just go around telling people about their futures…can you?
Because we don’t know it. None of us, nowhere. No how. No matter how many rooms in some big mansion in the sky there are—we don’t know what’s coming our way and we definitely can’t rely on some big reward—at some point--just because our lives have taken a turn. I was reflecting about this while texting with a friend one day and she wrote back, “We are never prepared for the unwanted and unanticipated.” And I think that’s because we all believe—outwardly or secretly—that our reward is to come. In a couple of weeks, after the pandemic, as soon as we retire, since we’re working so hard. After we, he, she or they die. Life has been so hard, there must be something really great heading my way! No. Not necessarily.
We don’t really prepare for nothing to get better; we’re all about the next thing. I’m not talking about hope (although I have some thoughts about that, too. Another essay . . .). No, I don’t believe Life is down the road, handing out rewards in golden boxes wrapped in ribbon full of prizes and joy and winning lottery tickets. The reward isn’t after you’ve checked all the boxes—it’s now. We are living the reward. If I get distracted—and disappointed—by thinking that I’ll finally get some compensation for dealing with one challenge after another, only one thing is for certain: I’m going to miss what is right in front of me. There is a lot to be grateful for in my life right now and thinking that some distant, unknown future is going to hold a better outcome for me isn’t preparing me for today.
Talk about a bait and switch.
Consider me influenced. I will investigate this pickleball thing. Maybe on YouTube.
“I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.”
Socrates
To know “no-thing” is the ultimate answer to all questions. The “no-thing” is what everything else is held in.