I recently posted a picture of our fireplace adorned with sparkly Christmas lights and my Santa statue peeking out from the hearth. In my hand is a glass of red wine and I captioned the picture, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas” and added the hashtag “Cheers.” My posts don’t typically go “viral” and neither did this one, but enough people remarked on it that it made me feel good about sharing our early (yes, it’s early for us) decorating. Angelo in particular has been focused on appraising our current decorations and adding new ones as we prepare our house for Christmas. We haven’t done this in so long, it’s fun to look for more spaces in our home to light up and decorate.
It feels new for us because it is new in a way. Throughout all our lives together, we’ve practiced what might be called a minimalist approach to Christmas. When we first got together, our kids had their other families who wanted them for the holidays, too. We learned early on that it was less stressful if we didn’t have specific expectations for the kids; between trying to make all the parents happy and navigating the rocky shoals of divorced and blended families, the fewer expectations on the kids, the better. Of course we always wanted our kids with us, but if there were other, more, um, exacting demands for their presence at the other house, we decided that whenever they showed up (or whenever we were allowed to go get them) the better all around. Our Christmas mornings were celebrated throughout the day and sometimes days after. Which was fine. Angelo and I have always liked to say that we enjoy a low-key Christmas.
The low-key method stuck with us even after our nest emptied. The several boxes of ornaments got whittled down to one containing our most special ones and our decorations became limited to the living room. No red-and-green hand towels in our bathroom or snowy centerpieces on the kitchen table. We decorated around mid-December, trimmed the tree on December 21st (Mom’s birthday…a tradition) and hung stockings and placed candles and set out sentimental figurines around the coffee table and fireplace mantel. It all got boxed back up sometime on New Year’s Day. Easy-peasy.
It’s not a Scrooge thing—I love Christmas. In fact, there are several Christmas-y tchotchkes scattered about my house all year ‘round. One is a wooden ornament that says, Peace on Earth and it’s on the top shelf of my bookcase. I have a magnet in the shape of a red heart and “God Jul” is hand painted on the front—a nod to my Swedish heritage. And the Santa figure sits at the hearth all year…I just like his presence (presents?) in the living room all year round. I love all the messages all year round.
The last several years, however, placed a level of stress on our household that made getting into the Christmas spirit challenging. Caregiving can be a 24/7 tap into one’s energy that’s hard to replenish and hauling down boxes from the attic and nailing lights up on the house were activities that could be easily disregarded in exchange for lighting a fire and stretching out under a blanket. We still celebrated, we just weren’t that ambitious about it. I still filled stockings for Christmas morning—I better have—even if Dad had trouble remembering how to put his pants on, he still remembered his favorite Christmas sweet treats! (Spritz and Pfeffernusse cookies and pretty much any kind of chocolate) We had Secret Santa gift exchanges and lots of yummy food and beverages (Mimosas and Peter Heering cherry liqueur), but—at least for me—I just didn’t have it in me to spend too much time worrying about whether or not I had enough garland and white lights lit. One year, I took all our tiny ornaments and made a mini Christmas tableau. We laid it out on the window sill next to the artificial tree we finally succumbed to buying when trekking out to the Christmas tree farm and remembering to water the thing every day became more responsibility than we could manage.
But we did manage. We celebrated—even in our pared down way—every year. That’s why it’s so surprising that suddenly, I’m in the damn Christmas spirit! I didn’t see it coming and honestly, with all we have on our minds with Annie’s ongoing chemo and that road ahead, I’m a little amazed I am in the mood to even think about Christmas at all. But I am. It reminds me of one of my favorite Christmas cards…the one I sent out the first year after my divorce. It is an old Charles Addams cartoon, with Morticia looking out of the window onto a winter wonderland of activity and she says, “Suddenly, I have a dreadful urge to be merry.”
Our little family has a tough road ahead. But that’s okay…it’s a road we’ve come to know and we’re getting pretty good at navigating it. We do it with love and laughter and sweet treats. And this year, apparently, with a bunch of sparkly Christmas decorations.
*Sentiment from the inside of the Christmas card
Beautiful fireplace!
⛄️🎄🌲🏋️♀️☃️🌨⭐️🧑🎄😊🌲🎄☃️