12 Comments
User's avatar
Patricia Babina's avatar

Cindy, you write so beautifully about this forever grief that is borne by those who have lost a child. I’m a cryer too. My siblings used to tease me about it all the time. That picture of you with Annie smiling such a gorgeous, disarming smile brought tears. I think of you often, and how much you are still giving to and nurturing others…how much you are paying attention…despite your own heartbreak.

Expand full comment
Lucy Murray's avatar

You write so beautifully about your pain and loss. You are blessed to be surrounded by so many friends who love you both. I loved your line that crying means you're paying attention. I needed that right now. Next week I am traveling with my children to Yosemite National Park to finally honor my husband's wishes to scatter his ashes in this temple of natural wonder-- almost 3 years after he died. And I've been crying for a month.

Expand full comment
Jeanne Kelly's avatar

Cindy,

When you write about Annie and I see her face in this beautiful picture. Wow she was beautiful and what a spirit I see in that face. How perceptive and old soul of her to send you that quote.

She is paying attention and probably still is from another place. I always thought and still do believe that when we do think of someone we loved so much and loved us so much that while we think of them - they are here with us - because we thought of them and still love them so much.

I think we are still connected. We just don’t see it. ❤️

Expand full comment
KittyLiterate's avatar

Hugs to you. You never get over it; you just get on with it. xoxoxoxo Love

Expand full comment
Tammy Chatfield's avatar

Oh I love that quote about tears, it's definitely me too.

Expand full comment
Yasmin Chopin's avatar

Oh Cindy, I wish you much healing and happiness as the days pass. Your tears are nature’s way. I find tears flow easily whenever I think about those I’ve loved who are no longer here. Glad you can talk/write about it - it’s so helpful to know we’re not alone in our grief.

Expand full comment
Tina Hedin's avatar

Cindy, this moving story brings me feelings of recognition and empathy. In the early months after my daughter’s death I returned to places that held many memories of her. The pain was bottomless yet I felt a need to be in those places that held traces of her.

After a year and a half I thought maybe I was done with the endless daily tears. But returning recently to one of those locations showed me I am in no way done crying.

I love the Glennon quote.

Expand full comment
Lee Gaitan's avatar

I'm a cryer too. Stress hormones are released in tears, I've heard. Regardless, it's my default setting and feels cleansing. Beautiful words and tears, my friend.

Expand full comment
sandi's avatar

I’m a big time cryer too. Your words are beautiful, as are you. I didn’t know Annie, but I do know she was lucky to have you as her mom. You are lovely inside and out. Sending love!

Expand full comment
Heidi Durig Heiby's avatar

Been thinking of you. I told you about my one best friend with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and now my other best friend is being treated for stage 3 ovarian cancer (diagnosed 2 weeks later). She had a hysterectomy the same day you did and had her first chemo treatment today. I meant also to comment on your last essay about what to say to people going through these kinds of things. Trust me, this was really timely. I just keep telling them how much I love them. It’s hard. Some of the well-meaning commentary from others has been challenging. Thank you for addressing this.

The Maine pics were so pretty. I’m sure the celebration will be beautiful as painful as it must be. Cry away. I’ve done a ton of it myself lately and I’m not a natural cryer (I’m learning). ;-) Wishing you healing, body and soul.

Expand full comment
Chloe Langer's avatar

Beautiful, Cindy. Let the tears come. XOXOXO

Expand full comment
Lynn Stobaeus's avatar

💦💦💦🩵🩵🩵

Expand full comment