How funny is cancer?
(the answer is below)
Annie and I texted a little bit one morning:
Constant readers are aware that Annie continues to fight an aggressive cancer that persists in defying all the treatments and procedures she undergoes to try and manage it. A little over a month ago, I published an essay which was both an update and an excuse as to why I hadn’t been more consistent in my regular posts and it detailed the deluge of hospital visits and failed interventions that rendered Annie exhausted. All of us, really. We even had reinforcements in the form of Tony’s sister Christina who stayed for over a month and contributed valuable time and effort to the cause, but it’s been a lot.
Then, because there’s always a “then” lately, I found out after my annual routine lady-parts exams, that there was “something” on both my mammogram and pelvic ultrasound that needed a closer look. Both. Are you kidding me? So I went about scheduling additional appointments and one of them landed on the same day as one of Annie’s. Hence, the text exchange above.
I share all this because 1. If you don’t know I am almost literally an open book and share every little burp and tickle I have, then you haven’t been reading enough, and 2. I’m a humor writer! At least, I was when I started out almost 20 years ago. I suppose I still am as opposed to cancer-writer or grief-writer or caregiver-writer, but honestly—how does one write about all this stuff and still consider herself a humor writer?
I guess I’m hanging on to the “humor” label because if it weren’t for humor, I don’t know how we’d all get through any of this madness. Even when I write about the latest devastating progression of cancer through Annie’s body, like Hannibal through the Alps, there is likely to be a moment in which I can share a smile or chuckle. (How about that Hannibal reference, though?) Humor gets many people through terrible situations; say, for example Betty Rollin. The well-known journalist, who recently died, wrote the widely read memoir about her breast cancer called First, You Cry. It was an honest discussion about breast cancer that no doubt gave many women the courage to get tested. And, she had a sense of humor about it. She said:
“Somebody once said that I was the first person to make cancer funny, which was the best compliment I ever had. I mean, cancer isn’t funny, but if you’ve got it and if you’re able to make jokes about it, I think that keeps you sane.”
That’s what I think we’re all doing, particularly Annie. I mean, we’re not howling with laughter every minute, but when something is funny—we laugh about it. Or if it’s ridiculous or insane or touching and sweet. Annie and I wrote a bunch of articles together for the CT Post on how we are dealing with cancer as a mother and daughter and one of the lenses we were looking through was our sense of humor. The paper eventually ghosted us, so I’ll put links to all of them below. We got many poignant responses to our work, which was our goal in writing them. People who wanted us to know they felt heard or seen. What’s better than that?
So, the answer to my titular question (titular--hehe) ‘how funny is cancer’ is, it’s not. But sometimes, getting through it has to be.
Can We Talk About Cancer (originally appeared at Hearst CTInsider)
Cindy Eastman & Annie Musso
Dec. 17, 2022 - Can We Talk About Cancer? https://www.ctinsider.com/opinion/article/Opinion-My-daughter-has-cancer-And-we-want-to-17659433.php
Jan. 7, 2023 - Are We Making Resolutions? https://www.ctinsider.com/opinion/article/Opinion-Can-we-talk-about-cancer-If-I-want-to-17697860.php
Feb. 11, 2023 – Making Moves—Even When You’re Stage 4 https://www.ctpost.com/opinion/article/talk-cancer-opinion-making-moves-even-17776160.php
March 19, 2023 - The title is misleading on this one...we called it, "Talking About Bruno" - https://www.ctpost.com/opinion/article/opinion-helping-kids-deal-death-pets-17845133.php
May 6, 2023 - The Kindness of Everyone
https://www.ctpost.com/opinion/article/opinion-the-kindness-everyone-18081278.php
August 11, 2023 - 525,600 Minutes
https://www.ctinsider.com/opinion/article/opinion-measure-years-love-rather-pain-18291383.php
We wrote several others, but they didn’t make it into the paper. We appreciate your taking the time to read them, share them or comment on them. Sharing our stories lightens the burden.
You’re a freaking hero and a warrior and you’re funny as all get out! You are wise to recognize that humor is what keeps us sane. Thank you for continuing to share your spirit with us.
You are forever a humorist. What happens to you does not define you. Humor is a coping mechanism, and lord knows we need to find some way to keep getting up and battling those pesky dragons.